5th April

Last day before the the long weekend. I'm still not feeling great but getting better and looking forward to the break.

Over the past few months I've been feeling very unsettled mentally. I don't feel challenged, I'm not stretching myself enough physically and mentally and I need to do something to get myself out of this rut but am struggling a bit about what that could be. When I first left BT I was doing a lot: I state my adult education classes teaching computing, was chairman of the youth orchestra, did the recordings for the orchestra, was into desktop publishing, developed various websites as well as holding down the job with Stuart and Co. I don't feel that I'm doing half as much noe and need to do something.

I've got a couple of things in the background: I'm still trying to develop my story line, writing up my travelogues from the past 5 years and writing this blog but feel that I need to do something else but am struggling as to what. I must admit its hitting my confidence and for the first time in a long time I'm struggling a bit with self-esteem. I need to give some serious thought to this and figure out a way to get back on level ground.

I spend the day sorting out documentation and checking finances as well as writing up performance reports for my people. I also map out meetings for the new year, fixing dates and booking rooms for the next 12 months.